Some say that you don’t really know someone until you live with them, and from personal experience I 100% agree. It is easy to hide behind a mask for a few hours or days. But living with someone means you see them when they’re most relaxed and vulnerable. There’s no doubt that moving in with your partner is an exciting step! The idea of shared space, moments, and routines feels cozy, but like any new chapter, living together is a learning experience full of discoveries. Here are ten things many learn when they move in with their partner.
1. Communication is key
Being open and honest is important in every relationship, regardless of whether you live together or not, but when you cohabit it becomes even more crucial.
You’re going to spend a lot more time together and if there’s something bothering you it is better to get it off your chest. Being respectful in portraying your thoughts is much more effective and often better received. You don’t want to let negativity fester and should try to tackle problems as they arise rather than letting them build up.
2. Remember to listen
A part of good communication is being a good, receptive listener. Remain engaged when your partner speaks to you, whether that’s about their day or their worries.
You are the person they will come home to and will be the main soundboard for their thoughts and feelings. Nothing makes you feel more appreciated than being heard.
3. There will be arguments
Even with all the good will in the world, no relationship is perfect! There are bound to be disagreements and having an argument is not a bad thing.
Try to approach disagreements in a different way. Instead of raising your voices and it turning in to a shouting competition, try stay level headed and take turns to speak.
4. Make time for each other
It’s easy to fall in to a rut. When you’re working, have a house to maintain and yourself to look after, it can feel like you’re just passerby’s.
Even if you just have 30 minutes free in an evening, actually sit down with the TV off and just chat. Ask about one another’s day or talk about plan’s for the week. Dedicate some time for one another. Even though you live together you still need to nurture your relationship.
5. Your compatibility will be tested
By living together you’ll get a real sense of your partners habits, morals, values, personality and true character. There will definitely be some which you haven’t seen before. It’s easy to hide quirks from your partner when you aren’t living together. Plus it’s easy to overlook things in the early stages of your relationship. But when you live together all the walls are broken down!
You could find out that your partner is in fact really messy and it drives you bonkers. Or that they don’t offer to do any house work and you hate it. Remember- no one is perfect. But if there are things you dislike about one another that lead to frequent arguments then it’s something you need to address.
6. Keep the romance alive
Moving in together is such a big and exciting milestone in any relationship. Living together helps to develop your trust and comfort. But sometimes you can get too comfortable and your relationship gets lost in the daily routine.
Instead of your relationship being centred around meet-ups and dates, it’s about day-to-day living. You have to make time to change the routine; suggest a date night or arrive home with some flowers.
7. Establish responsibilities
Before you moved in together you both had your own routines and ways of living. Now you are sharing your home together it is important to discuss how you want to look after it and allocate ‘jobs’. This might be easy if you’re both tidy people and are happy doing any job. But usually the reality is that one is more tidy than the other.
Both pick jobs that you enjoy/ don’t mind doing. Any that jobs that are left over share between the two of you. Remember you are partners and this is a team effort.
8. Discuss your finances
It’s no surprise that money is one of the most commonly argued about topics for couples. Every one has different views on money and how they want to spend it. When you own a house there is a lot of expenditure. You have bills, mortgage payments, food, home improvements and furniture to budget for.
If you can both afford to make 50/50 contributions it is much easier to monitor who’s paid for what. This will ultimately save a lot of arguments.
Also consider opening a joint account and agree what is paid out of it. You might decide that along with home payments you include paying for date nights or holidays.
9. You still need time apart
I love Sex and the City and one of my favourite episodes is when Carrie references ‘secret single behaviour’. This includes those things you like doing alone, without your partner knowing.
There can be an assumption that now you live together you have to do everything together. When in fact you are still two individuals who probably enjoy doing things which doesn’t involve the other person. Remember there is nothing wrong with that.
Giving each other breathing room is important. It’s only when you never want to spend time together that you know there’s a problem.
10. Your relationship will grow stronger
Moving in together is a big milestone in any relationship. You are making a commitment to one another and are taking the next step together.
There is something really special and exciting about coming home to your partner every day. You get to share lots of memories together and this will inevitably build the strength in your relationship.
Final thoughts..
Remember relationships aren’t always easy and it takes honesty, good communication, trust, and love to live in harmony together. No one is perfect and you have to remember to compromise sometimes. Moving in together is such a special milestone and something to cherish. There will be bumps in the road but overcoming them together will only make you stronger!
Buying our first house was the best decision we made and building our little home together has been the best experience of my life!
